A shy person goes to a conference (C3)

Going to a conference seems like a feat of ultimate proportions?

Here are a few /unstuck commands I found useful to send to my brain when attempting this feat for the first time joining C3 Festival 2024. Hopefully there’s something in there for you too.

It’s ok to be you

When talking and getting to know other people is not your forte there could be the running thought: “Why am I even thinking of going there alone?”.

This can maybe mask the true reason why you might want to go to a conference that has networking events, workshops or other social interactions.

Think about you going to a place where you can get some knowledge, enjoy some fresh air and that’s it. The key point here is to value all the other things that you have to gain and that it’s ok to not be the conversation starter, or the spirit of the group. It’s ok to be you, trying to expand your knowledge

Hindsight: The actuality of the situation is, that you are not alone in this. There will certainly be other people that are not coming to the conference with friends or colleagues. It might also be the majority. The cool thing about that is that you will most likely be naturally conversing with other people that are solo adventuring, just like you.

Have a plan

I find that we are perplexed by the meaningfulness of small talk, or lack thereof.

Search for the event schedule, find the talks, workshops and people you would like to hear. This will build a mental model of scheduling and purpose during the conference. There is a safety to knowing what talks you’re going to enjoy.

At some point, you or another person might get lost trying to search around for the room where the next talk will be.

Well with this, the fun part is, it’s not small talk :) There is a purpose to achieve and information to share and ask for. Great!

Alone can be better

Controversial, but here’s my view.

In some cases, you might find that going there alone can be more effective. One of the reasons being, you have full liberty of organizing your schedule.

Feeling like going a little late, or feeling like leaving ? Fine, there’s no one to drag you around.

Want to go back to base to to reflect on your notes? Go ahead!

Have you made even one acquaintance? That’s the oh sh**t moment.

For me, I find that when that is the case, there’s a 100% amplification of the positive effect of that. In other ciscumstances, I would maybe shy away of getting to know new people and exchange information. Just because of the social “safety net”. But as we established in the previous hacks, this safety net may not be needed.

Conclusion

Conferences are a great way to get to know your mind hacks for social interaction. That is because their main purpose is to learn, listen and be inspired. They differ from parties, dinner invitations or other social gatherings where the purpose is to socialize … Or is it? Maybe reframing all social events to other objectives apart from the obligation to be talking to everybody, can be a universal hack.

These were my mind hacks, yours might be completely different but I am sure they exist!